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Saturday, January 11, 2014

The Blender



This photo has a rather dreamlike quality to it with the way the red flower blends so well into the blurred background. With bipolar disorder, at times it's quite difficult to pay proper attention to things, similar to attention deficit disorder. When attention is not applied properly, the information available doesn't make it to the first stage of memory, and therefore doesn't get stored. If something does get stored, often only tiny bits of it do, so much to the point that long expanses of time turn into one big blur, blending together without an ability to separate the events and get a proper timeline or even a complete picture of an event.

High school is a particularly good example of the blended concept. I have little memory of a lot of it, and what I do have memories of are rather difficult to place in time. The same thing happened with college. The two seem like massive blurs with little chronologically disorganized tidbits here and there. My childhood is another example, with very, very few memories that are complete and make sense. There are very few big events I have complete memories of, but the ones that do I do everything I can to hold on to. This may explain the previous post entitled "Stuck in the Past," where I discussed difficulties letting go of artifacts from my childhood.

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